You really Can’t Beat Kelly. She’s smart, sassy, and has an uncanny knack for trivia, as anyone who listens to her co-hosting The Tommy Show (on which “Can’t Beat Kelly” is an actual thing) will tell you. She is the founder of CityShopGirl, one of the DC area’s most acclaimed lifestyle blogs, and has consistently been named a “top influencer” by local and national news media.
All the more incredulously, she is pretty, polished, and perky at all times, including those in the day when I am convinced that only people with superpowers can function. I was hanging on for dear life (I generally don’t acknowledge “life” before 7AM) at a recent live taping of her radio show, while Kelly was bopping around, fresh as a flower, chatting with fans in between takes in her perfect blow-out, red leather pants, and bedazzled red Uggs (or should I say “Ugh”).
But all sequins and on-air endorphins aside, my friend Kelly is remarkable for other reasons. She is a gal who is not afraid of getting her hands dirty, figuratively and literally. She unapologetically speaks her truth about topics like parenting, relationships, and even her own personal life (and wine – don’t forget the wine) on air every single morning. And I know, because we have been friends ever since our boys were toddlers, that she will always do what is best for her children. Including, but not limited to, playing with them in sandboxes that made both of us cringe (I mean, does anyone ever clean that s***?).
Herewith, the answers to the Proust Questionnaire of Kelly Collis, eyebrow aficionado, and the one with the odds ever in her favor.
What is your idea of perfect happiness? It’s a tie: sitting on the beach with a cocktail and watching the kids enjoy the ocean, or being at a Nats (Washington Nationals baseball team) game with the whole family.
What is your greatest fear? That my body won’t be able to keep up with my energy level…growing old.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? That I am terrified of driving over the Bay Bridge.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Narcissism
Which living person do you most admire? Madonna
What is your greatest extravagance? My lipstick collection
What is your current state of mind? Content
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Frugality
On what occasion do you lie? I am a parent of four kids, white lies are ok.
What do you most dislike about your appearance? My face after a late night.
Which living person do you most despise? No comment, I need to protect the innocent here.
What is the quality you most like in a man? Must have energy.
What is the quality you most like in a woman? Owning your individual style.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Over it
What or who is the greatest love of your life? My husband – he is the perfect partner in life.
When and where were you happiest? Having my son walk me down the aisle to marry my soul mate last June.
Which talent would you most like to have? To be able to do the splits.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? To have smaller feet.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? My children
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka. Politics aside, she is the daughter of a billionaire, owns her own fashion line, is a mother and is smart.
Where would you most like to live? Washington, DC
What is your most treasured possession? Material possession? Definitely an Alexander McQueen red, backless dress my husband bought me for my birthday.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Not being able to be yourself.
What is your favorite occupation? Being on morning radio in my home town. Best job ever. Makes me happy every day.
What is your most marked characteristic? Bitchy resting face
What do you most value in your friends? Spontaneity
Who are your favorite writers? Cathy Alter, who lives in Georgetown. Her book Up for Renewal got me through a tough time during my divorce.
Who is your hero of fiction? Katniss Everdeen
Which historical figure do you most identify with? Jackie Kennedy
Who are your heroes in real life? Members of the armed services that sacrifice every day for our country.
What are your favorite names? Pinot Noir
What is it that you most dislike? Not having enough vacation days.
What is your greatest regret? That I didn’t wax my eyebrows until I was 22.
How would you like to die? With my eyebrows perfectly plucked.
What is your motto? Work hard, play hard.